

Philosophical BabbleIt might be insanity but only sane people say that, so why cant I distinguish a thought from a fact? Obsessively fixed on malicious mind settingsfighting with myselfputting words in my friends mouthshoutinganxietyrely on me!is this right for me?... Invariable battles of rhetoric that go on and on, but I push along with a song on the stereo, distracting these thoughts; helping me find which way to go. We think we know friendship, then its gonea family like bond that you thought was strong. But the deceit of your thoughts blinds you from what is really going on. So you move alongwith aPhilosophical Babble


ersatz anodyneErsatz Anodyne On cold concrete steps I continue to walkersatz anodyne
Heeding to the grave robbers' talk
Disguised as crows along the empty streets
from dead trees they whisper of what I imminently will meet
For they have grown accustom to the stale smell
Of such mortal loss, my subfusc hell
Still I must follow a bell's song through the alpenglow
Distant yet ebullient and its message well I know
But up through the cracked sidewalk creeps
Thorny weeds awakened from a dormant sleep
Trying so desperately to hold me back
I tear through them all and race down the destitute track


and the darkness marches onAs darkness prevails over the tranquility that once wasand the darkness marches on
I say goodbye to the contentment that I unexpectedly experienced
It came like a brisk of wind, pushing all the clouds away
And it only dwelled in my life for a concise period of time
I deceived myself, pretending all was well
I wore an indistinguishable mask to cover my noticeable scars
And when the disguise betrayed my soul
My wounds abruptly started to destroy me once more
It has been understood that struggles make you stronger
I must need a lot of strength, for my st


S H A T T E R E DCrash and burn again Why are you surprised Hold your breath and count to ten But you'll probably still cryS H A T T E R E D
Watch it fall apart again Why do you always hope? It never works out in the end Just find a way to cope
Life isn't out to get you It simply doesn't care Dreams just don't come true No one said that things were fair
Try to find small happiness Live only in the moment Then you won't feel the emptiness That comes with disappointment
Shrug it all off again Pretend it never mattered You won't need their pity
Fade Away

walking awayThe nights we had were so filled with love That said love is something I have to give up "What about you?" I say Then I realize you did on that hurtful day. I can feel my grasp on reality slip Deep into a fake but irresistible bliss Things are not how they were suppose to be Have you seen what you've done to me?! I love you, damnit! Isn't that enough? You could say no, but I'd attempt at calling that bluff I just want to scream to the world, and shout And get all these damn feelings out Stirring, and moving around is a growing grudge inside But I don't want thwalking away


Spiritual War Something Tyler Durden said is sticking in my mind. He said we are the middle children of history. We have no great war in our lives, no great depression. He said our war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives. Think about that. Our war is a spiritual war. Our spirits are at war. Every day you wake up your spirit is face down in the mud of Vietnam, tiptoeing through minefields and dodging bullets from the bushes. Captain Willard said every day Charlie squats in the bushes he gets stronger, and every day I spend in this hotel, I get weaker. The same is trueSpiritual War
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it's all happening
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You're pins, I'm needles, let's play.
I cannot pretend I will not surrender to these dreams in my head.
The moon is dark and I can't sleep
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Ночью все кошки серы.
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Doubt everything. Find your own light.
-Buddha
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I want to look down at my griefs with a shrug of indifference; it is with positive thinking that a grief becomes indifferent, so indifferent that the word grief transforms into a word that looks similar to carefree. - Jen Cox
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Doubt everything. Find your own light.
-Buddha
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